A few more limericks courtesy of the dirty old man. Some questionable rhyming (and questionable content).
LIMERICK 47
A sweet darling wife named Teresa
Put her husband to live in the freezer
In no more than a jiff
He became frozen stiff
And now finds it easy to please her
LIMERICK 48
A short sighted gardener named Ron
Picked some mushrooms to cook later on
But when the cooker grew hot
They crawled out of the pot
For the mushrooms were snails all along
LIMERICK 49
A jolly young fellow called Martin
Tried cutting his hair with a parting
But his line straight and wide
Made some athletes decide
To use it when races they’re starting!
LIMERICK 50
A much studied lady called Janice
Tried learning some magic in Spanish
When she shouted OLE
A bull ran away
As she made a Big Mac & chips vanish
LIMERICK 51
A fussy old bird named Vanessa
Needed rather a lot to impress her
She complained again when
She discovered Big Ben
Was a clock, not a man
with a measure!
LIMERICK 52
A very fit fellow named Peter
Bought a motorised tandem, two seater
But when he got on the back
He jumped like a Jack
For he’d sat himself down on the heater
LIMERICK 53
To spread the news and reinforce it
They had so many tries
Of increasing their size
That they all came back wearing a corset
LIMERICK 54
A lover of waltz named Irena
Desired a quick twirl in Vienna
But when Ralph checked his pocket
He soon had to block it
And revolved her from off the antenna
LIMERICK 55
A most reserved lady named Marilyn
Began to call everyone ‘darling’
When her friends thought of seeking
What started her speaking
They discovered the answer was Carling!
LIMERICK 56
A dithery damsel named Audrey
Changed her hairstyle to blown out and tawdry
But it wasn’t the salon
That made it ten-gallon
She’d walked in next door, to the laundry
LIMERICK 57
There once was an old fool called Spiro
Who decided to be a big hero
He fought through the crowd
And he swore out aloud
For the barmaid had sold out of beer-o!
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