Which meant no unnecessary clutter, nothing left lying around, and "for God's sake, put the bloody sellotape back in the drawer where you found it you little get"
Free Deliveries
Those pizza huts & curry shops
For breakfast, lunch or tea
Encourage us to stuff our chops
With free delivery
A table or a three piece suite
Although not necess’ry
Persuade us to become elite
With free delivery
The milkman on his merry round
With every grocery
Convinces us to save a pound
With free delivery
The father and the bride arrive
To great expectancy
The bridegroom has been hooked alive
By free delivery
When father time comes knocking
With a flight to sun and sea
Beware, he’s only mocking
With free delivery
Be warned, my little innocents
Can there really be
Such a thing – ask common sense –
As free delivery?
For anything delivered free
Is paid for in the end
Maybe twofold, even three
So careful how you spend
Who can resist a bargain?
Neither you nor I
But you haven’t spent one farthing
On what you want to buy!
Your house gets cluttered with pretension
And in decline your coffers
Then you build a large extension
To accommodate these offers
So my advice is do not buy!
Buy nothing great or small
Be wise, be prudent and comply
For happiness is all
And now you’ve learnt to mind your purse,
To jog your memory,
I’ll sell you this, a pound a verse,
With … free delivery!
2 September 2009
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